Control: Both Sides Now

Just this morning, someone (she is a person I’ve asked to leave my business) told me that I would not succeed because I was controlling. Precisely quoted from her email, she said,“…Controlling others will never make you happy or successful.”

I agree. I love her courage in speaking her truth…finally.  And, three things come immediately to mind:

  1. I’ve never accused anyone of being controlling
  2. I’ve honestly never really worried about being controlled
  3. I wondered if (she) is aware of how (she) controls others

All that said, no matter what, I still agree. She is right. Controlling other people and establishing rigid outcomes will not create a successful environment. Yet, controlling the energy of a business vision and its environment are one of the requirements/prerequisites to focus on a path towards a desired result, to stabilize the business platform, to convey the core values and weave them into the message.

Some appropriate uses of control:

-Control is important when setting up a business vision and finding people to support and sustain it.

-Control of the environment as a teacher, presenter, facilitator, even a life coach or therapist is important in containing, directing and channeling the energy, keeping it all on track, as well as expressing the message appropriately and clearly.

-Creating a boundary or a container when in the path of another’s rage or emotional expressions are good uses of control.

-Legal, health and other professionals use control to assist people in healing their bodies and their mental-emotional issues.

-Assertive, direct people are often seen as controlling and aggressive in the eyes of passive-aggressive people.

-Parents control their children to demonstrate family values; they show the children what behaviors work in relation to those values and how to execute a successful plan for the desired outcome.

-Most of us control our pets so other people aren’t affected by their behaviors and presence.

In this situation, I reminded me, that I am allowed to control my business according to my vision and that no one controls my responses. Instead, I see them as choices I make.

My business vision is nothing new—I’ve shared that vision all along the way with everyone involved (including her). Those who do not hold it dear (in mind, body & behaviors) are allowed to depart and find another place to work. I remembered too, that I have absolutely no responsibility to employ people who choose to resist the philosophical tenets of my business vision and how it is made manifest. I have no responsibility to manage anyone’s disrespect of me in my home or in relation to my business. Their response to my choices in who and when I dis-employ, and their problematic opinions about the parameters I create for that employment is none of my concern. They can either take it or leave it.

Honestly, I reserve the right to control my life in its entirety, as well as the way I relate to those with whom I share it. Interestingly enough, without (her) controls in place, I would never have asked (her) to leave. Yeah, very interesting.

Some things to consider about covert, emotional control:

-People who don’t show or tell are often just hiding anger, fear and resentment. They passively pretend to be cool, calm and collected, interested and cooperative, when they are not.

-Passive-aggression is at the root of aggression.

-Resistance is control.

-Emotionally controlling people tell you what they believe you want to hear and then get angry when you ask them to be responsible or committed to a course of action.

-Emotional control is an act of self-hatred projected outward.

-Emotional control is irresponsibility in disguise. It sneaks-up on the responsible person who actively chooses, creates, manifests and takes ownership of their choices.

-Emotional control is perpetrated through false representation, non-response, ignoring, avoiding, unwillingness to share resources, taking and not giving, saying one thing and meaning another.

-Emotional control is passive and indecisive; it forces another person to choose for you and then you can lay blame when the outcome isn’t what you wanted.

-Disempowered people control by not responding directly and maturely, instead making cutting remarks to stir the emotional-chemical stew.

-Disempowered people control by creating chaos to get an emotional response, then blame their targets for being reactive to the attack.

I choose the frequency, places and people I play with on my journey. I am responsible for my choices and their consequences. If that is controlling, then so be it.

 

 

 

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Sacred Body Oracle: Awakening Awareness

Growth. Personal growth is always both spiritual and physical–including thoughts & beliefs, attitudes & emotions, not to mention, behaviors.

Ownership. Walking the human path of our earthly experience means we fully honor and anchor in our bodies, accepting responsibility for its energy, experiences and expressions.

Manifesting. Self-realization is like knowledge; it’s one part of the picture. Knowingness is knowledge embodied, like wisdom through experience. Self-actualization is about applying that wisdom and having what we create–everything we create.

Evolution. Activating our soul or essential information relies on our ability to fully embrace our divinity from within our bodies.

Awareness. A wise man once told me that 94% of “this process” is about simple awareness, 4% is about effortlessly creating a new “picture” when we aren’t happy with an old one, and the remaining 2% is about disciplined weeding of the inner landscape.

We are rebooting our regular Sacred Body Oracle readings. Now a part of the Sacred Bodies, Sacred Rhythms newsletter/blog, we’ll post the oracle once monthly along with 4-5 other topics to create a weekly adventure in self-awareness: exploring the mystical conversation between body & spirit.

We offer intuition & healing courses; relaxation and stress reduction; daily Pilates Alchemy classes; movement-energy teacher trainings; intuitive readings & coaching; CD’s, gift cards, oracle cards & books.

Sacred Energy, Sacred Space: Neutrality

The wise man said: neutrality is not about changing what is out there. It is not even about changing what is in here. It is about being the observer of what is everywhere, accepting it for what it is, and responding appropriately.

Practice:

Be aware of your attention in the middle of your head. Move from your centerline: here is last week’s focusing exercise.

Self-Reflection:

How does your body feel as you sit in the center of your head?

What emotions do you experience?

Are you aware of any thoughts? Do you attach to them or do they pass through?

Are you responsive or reactive?

As part of the Sacred Body Oracle readings, we bring you Sacred Energy, Sacred Space. Now a part of the Sacred Bodies, Sacred Rhythms newsletter/blog, we’ll post a self-reflection practice once monthly along with 4-5 other topics to create a weekly adventure in self-awareness: exploring the mystical conversation between body & spirit.  

Click on the Quickening the Rhythms of Change icon above for a free gift

We offer intuition & healing courses; daily Pilates Alchemy classes; movement-energy teacher trainings; intuitive readings & coaching; CD’s, gift cards, oracle cards & books.

Sacred Body Wisdom: Conversations Between Body & Spirit

Lie on your back with your knees bent. Your feet are on the floor and your arms are lifted upward, your fingertips reach toward the ceiling. Relax your shoulder blades onto the floor. Alternately move one arm towards the floor overhead and the other to the floor alongside your body. Switch directions. Breathe in as you lift your arms, breathe out as they lower toward the floor. Repeat this about 5 times. Rest.

Now try this: call your awareness into the center of your head. Exhale & watch your body as you very gently pull your belly button down toward your spine. Continue to engage the belly button, alternately moving your arms in the same way, repeating it about 5 times.

Once you synchronize your breath with the movements into an effortless flow, imagine your picture again–the one of you in your life–your true essence. Keep breathing. Keep moving your arms. Repeat the alternating movements as you hold that picture of you,  filled with amusement and enthusiasm!

Alternating movement of the limbs helps the body-mind integrate logical and intuitive hemispheres in the brain. Conscious breathing helps you center and focus on what is important to your soul. Awareness in the center of your head helps you sustain a responsive (non-reactive) state by utilizing chemistry properly. Focusing on your personal picture helps you consciously connect, creating practical daily choices with intentional imagery. When you hold the picture long enough, the image will become part of your longest term memory, actually hard-wiring it into the oldest part of your brain. This creates a new state of being. This is how the body communicates with spirit.

We are rebooting our regular Sacred Body Wisdom readings. Now a part of the Sacred Bodies, Sacred Rhythms newsletter/blog, we’ll post a body wisdom & awareness practice once monthly along with 4-5 other topics to create a weekly adventure in self-awareness: exploring the mystical conversation between body & spirit.

We offer intuition & healing courses; daily Pilates Alchemy classes; movement-energy teacher trainings; intuitive readings & coaching; CD’s, gift cards, oracle cards & books.

Sacred Body Oracle: Clarity

Clear Sight

the Brow Chakra

the Pineal Gland

the 6th Level of Consciousness

the Seat of Your Wisdom

Inner Rhythms

Clairvoyance

Telepathy

Precognition

When you soften your focus, relaxing your eyes, your attention moves into the center of your head. When the external sense of sight is withdrawn, you will see your inner world more clearly. As you find your truth in this experience, you might just find a way to respond to the outer world with calm clarity.

Take a nice slow walk in nature. Stroll and visualize. Create the picture you want to see. This is the communication space between your body and your spirit. It is the language you speak with the god of your heart and your subconscious mind. Hold the image in your mind’s eye as long as you can. Stay with it. When the picture disappears, create it again. Let go of all the thoughts and pictures that do not resonate with your picture. Was, breathe, relax and continue to recreate the image for 5 minutes.

We are rebooting our regular Sacred Body Oracle readings. Now a part of the Sacred Bodies, Sacred Rhythms newsletter/blog, we’ll post the oracle once monthly along with 4-5 other topics to create a weekly adventure in self-awareness: exploring the mystical conversation between body & spirit.

We offer intuition & healing courses; relaxation and stress reduction; daily Pilates Alchemy classes; movement-energy teacher trainings; intuitive readings & coaching; CD’s, gift cards, oracle cards & books.

 

Sacred Energy, Sacred Space: Inspiration & Enthusiasm

Some years ago I read a book that identified three levels of inner exploration: Meditation, Contemplation, Focus

I like to call them: Witness, Reflect, Create

Yoga philosophy speaks to its eight limbs, three of these states access the subtle realms: Samadhi, Dhyana, Dharana

Consider the similarities of these three ideologies. Do you ever witness yourself as you move through your day and realize you can change your state of mind? Do you spend time regularly reflecting on your choices? Do you proactively create your life?

Self-Reflection:

How can you use your breath to infuse your full being-ness with inspiration: body, mind & heart? How can you expand your awareness with conscious breathing? How can you share your enthusiasm in the world?

Practice:

Sit in a quiet space, your feet are on the floor, your eyes are closed.

Begin by breathing naturally to relax your body for a few minutes. Now, practice breathing into your nose and exhaling down your spine into the center of the Earth. Repeat this cycle a few times.

As you become more centered, bring your attention behind your eyes, deep in the middle of your head. Continue breathing into your nose and down your spine  for a few minutes.

This is the space of the sixth chakra—the seat of your wisdom, neutrality and clear sight.

Imagine you are sitting quietly someplace in nature inside the center of your head. Look down through your body to your pelvis. Can you do this without going down there? Look from inside the center of your head to the outside world. Can you do this without going out there? While you are in there, you can use your breath to clear off the area behind your eyes.

Sit in the center of your head, just breathing and observing yourself for several minutes.

As part of the Sacred Body Oracle readings, we bring you Sacred Energy, Sacred Space. Now a part of the Sacred Bodies, Sacred Rhythms newsletter/blog, we’ll post a self-reflection practice once monthly along with 4-5 other topics to create a weekly adventure in self-awareness: exploring the mystical conversation between body & spirit.  

Click on the Quickening the Rhythms of Change icon above for a free gift

We offer intuition & healing courses; daily Pilates Alchemy classes; movement-energy teacher trainings; intuitive readings & coaching; CD’s, gift cards, oracle cards & books.

Sacred Body Wisdom: Breathing, Centering, Releasing

Breathe in through your nose, deep into the center of your head. Allow the wind to flow through your brain and glands, clearing any stagnant energy and thoughts. Exhale down your spinal core, releasing the dross into Earth’s center.

Conscious breathing brings you closer to your own center, calling your awareness into the center of your head, in the centerline of your body. Your body sits in the center of your aura grounded though the breath into the center of the planet.

We are rebooting our regular Sacred Body Wisdom readings. Now a part of the Sacred Bodies, Sacred Rhythms newsletter/blog, we’ll post a body wisdom & awareness practice once monthly along with 4-5 other topics to create a weekly adventure in self-awareness: exploring the mystical conversation between body & spirit.

We offer intuition & healing courses; daily Pilates Alchemy classes; movement-energy teacher trainings; intuitive readings & coaching; CD’s, gift cards, oracle cards & books.